


Voices in My Head

by MarcarellaPizza



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Inspired by Be More Chill, Light Angst, M/M, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22317817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcarellaPizza/pseuds/MarcarellaPizza
Summary: Phichit sighs, rubbing the back of his neck before opening a pocket from his jacket and taking out a small, zip lock bag. He chucks it onto Yuuri’s bed who observes the small package, eyes narrowing at the grey, oblong pills.“They’re SQUIPs.”Yuuri gasps.--------------Additional warnings in notes!
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Voices in My Head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverSilence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSilence/gifts).



> Hello! What do we have here? ANOTHER YOI fanfic? With a BMC twist?!  
> This is gonna be a crazy wild ride, sostap in!
> 
> Before we begin, some content warnings if you will:  
> (Spoiler alert... duh)
> 
> DYSTOPIA/ MENTALL HEALTH THEMES  
> \- Heavily meantioned, plot dependant on. I suppose it's stereotypical negative stigma in Russia. Pretty much "Government controls people's mental health" It's a dystopia. That's the whole point. Don't like, don't read.  
> \- Government conspiring against the public... again... dystopian theme, kinds the point

**~It’s From Japan~**

There’s a soft breeze from the building air-con that captures the platinum blonde’s hair, sweeping it clumsily across his face as he ducks behind a wall. His rib cage aches with the racing beat of his heart as he hopes – prays even, that his boss hadn’t seen him. He’d like to leave the building without any drama, alas his wishful thinking is short lived when his name is yelled throughout the main lobby.

“VIKTOR!”

Ah yes. He’d most definitely been seen.

Straightening out his suit, Viktor cards a hand through his ever so immaculate hair, huffing out a breath with the thinking that the action would calm him down. He turns the corner, photo-ready smile pressed into his expression and nearly cries at the livid display on Mr Feltsman’s face. “Yakov~!” He greets cheerfully, far too cheerfully for someone who _knows_ they’re about to be fired. Viktor wants to at least seem supportive of his future ex-boss’ decisions.

The gruff man grits his teeth, pointing a large, accusatory finger directly into Viktor’s face. There’s a vein bursting at his right temple where hair had once been; all lost to the stresses his employees had brought. “Why is the third floor’s bathroom still clogged?!” He yells, spit flying as he goes. Viktor tries his best to not flinch at the contact of germs with his soft skin.

“The bathrooms Yakov?” Viktor pauses, tilting his head. If this was his boss’ way of firing people, then Viktor was severely disappointed. “I thought I’d already asked the intern to clean it up.”

“Yuri isn’t an intern you overgrown egg head.” Yakov sighs, a hand pinching the bridge of his nose. Viktor gapes in panic at the insult, covering his hair with his hands.

“Yakov! My hair is _fine_! I’m not balding like—“

“You’re on suspension.” Yakov cuts in, arms folded tightly. Viktor freezes in response, jaw dropped.

“Suspension.” He parrots back, eyes blinking wide, “W-why am I on suspension? This is probably _worse_ than being fired… Yakov why can’t you just fire me?”

The older man stares as if to answer his question with a look, which appears to be affective if going by Viktor’s sigh and ramrod straight posture. “HR deemed you rather… hazardous in the past few months. Your behavioural record is nearly twice as thick as Yuri’s disciplinary file.” With that, he steps back, placing an almost hesitant hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“My behaviour?” Viktor repeats. He’s sure he’s beginning to sound like a broken radio at this point with all that he’s been saying. He shakes his head as if to regain focus. ”What behaviour?”

Yakov’s eyes seem to turn dark as he squeezes his hold on the other. Voice lower, and eyes shifting, he casually hands Viktor some water and a box. “You’re ticking their radar.” He murmurs, manually closing Viktor’s fingers around both items, “They’ve deemed you possibly… compromised.”

His perfectly sculpted eyebrows raise up. “Compromised?” He waves his hands. “Wait. Yakov, you mean they think I’ve… _diverged?_ That’s ridiculous. I’m not… one of those neuro-divergent people who need meds. You believe me… don’t you?”

There’s a hefty pause as Viktor searches for an answer within Yakov’s eyes, receiving none other than a sigh. “Viktor. I wouldn’t be giving you a—” The box drops to the floor, clattering softly into the carpet.

“Oh my god you _don’t_!”

“ _Viktor!”_ Yakov hisses, bending down to snatch up the box and stuff it back into the other’s hand. “Listen to me. I know you’re a good kid, that’s why I’m _helping_ you!” The platinum blonde freezes, hesitantly accepting the package.

“What… what is this then?” He whispers, shifting gaze to the empty corridors. His fingertips buzz lightly beneath the object as he feels its edges and grooves. “Yakov… I promise I’m healthy. I’m mentally thriving! There’s no imbalance or whatever they think they’ve found based off of some _behaviour_ —“

“It’s a SQUIP.” Yakov hurries, straightening his back to appear casual. To anyone else, it were as if he were merely having a conversation with an employer.

Viktor blinks.

“A quick.”

“A SQUIP.”

“A squick?”

“A _SQUIP_.” Yakov insists, drawing out the syllables slowly. He waits for Viktor to inspect the box and bottle of water before deciding to explain more. “A Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.”

“A Super…. _What?_ What… what does it do?” Viktor gulps, gently scratching at the tape. His nails catch the thin film and peel it away, prying the box open carefully.

“Go home on your suspension and deal with it there.” Yakov says, arms returning to their neutral position at his sides. “It’s a pill. You swallow it and it will travel through your body to implant itself.”

Viktor physically recoils, staring at his boss in disturbance. “Into my brain?”

“Where else?” Yakov begins, “It’s like a computer, and it’ll help you avoid detection with the higher ups.” Viktor nods minutely, pocketing it within his suit jacket.

“And you know this is safe?”

“I know a guy who knows who made them.” Yakov nods, “They’re from Japan.”

It isn’t that Viktor doesn’t trust his boss. He does, in fact he’s grateful for the fact that the elder man was willing to help him out in such times of need. Doing these things could supposedly send you to prison and out of all the people he knows, Yakov isn’t one that deserves a sentence like that. But the pill that’s grey and oblong and resting on his tongue is physically no different to any of the other medications administered to _those_ sorts of people. It scares him.

He swallows.

The lump in his throat goes down and his breathing grows shallow as he tenses. He’s fine, he tells himself, he’s okay. The pill isn’t actually neuro-divergent drugs—

He screams.

_Viktor Nikiforov_ he hears someone say, loud and clearly as if beside his ear. Viktor drops and twitches on the ground, yelping as his body freezes into a shock. The voice isn’t coming from anywhere, there’s no one present but himself. Viktor screams again with another electrifying jolt sending him into a fit, and it’s then that he realises what’s happening. _Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor_ he hears.

_Your SQUIP._

**~Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov~**

“So what do you do?” Viktor hums. He’s flopped his body across his fainting couch, feet draped carelessly against the arm rest as he cradles his head with his arms. He feels faint, hence the reason for sitting on the fainting couch, and sore.

The SQUIP chuckles.

_Everything. I can assist in making your deepest desires come true. Riches, popularity, fame—_

“You sound like a cliché chick flick musical villain.” Viktor cuts in, yawning. “Can you help me appear normal? Apparently I’m deemed as ‘potentially emotionally compromised’ and that’s gonna get me in trouble”. The SQUIP doesn’t answer for a few seconds, leaving Viktor to wonder what’s happening. And then suddenly the voice is back, not so startling as he’s sure the experience should be.

_Why worry about the government when you could be it?_

He frowns at the suggestion, a little too eerie for his liking.

_It’s only eerie if you think it that way, Viktor._

He doesn’t like it reading his thoughts.

How was this little machine supposed to work again? Wasn’t it meant to be a way for him to continue going to work and living his life without the fears of being deemed neuro-diverse? Where on earth did running for government even fit into all this?

The SQUIP continues to try and convince him of many various activities, most of which would influence Viktor’s fortune or personal circumstances. It was as if the SQUIP had a mind for its own and that thought scared Viktor a lot.

_Of course I have a mind of my own! I’m a Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor! My job as a prestigious artificial intelligence is to better your life!_

Viktor starts to regret letting Yakov give him this pill.

Slowly, Viktor tries to stand with as clear a head as he possibly can. The less he thinks, the less likely the machine will know of his plans and Viktor would prefer to keep it that way. Who knew what sort of data was being recorded from this device!

He searches his coffee table for his phone in order to shoot a text off to Yakov. It’s simple and mundane, something very out of character in Viktor’s opinion, but it gets the job done in reaching contact with his boss.

_So you want to know where my creator lives, do you?_ The SQUIP asks. Viktor shakes his head and ignores him.

_Why do you want my creator when you have me? I can analyse and give you the probability of almost anything, I can make calculations and predictions beyond the average human! Why would you need–?_

His phone chimes again, a simple text message with a generalised location for the SQUIP’s origins. Viktor feels bad for lying, for pretending to be grateful for something he’s very quickly grown to despise. He doesn’t want to lie and tell Yakov he’s planning to seek out more SQUIPS and share them, but he’s got no other way, he just can’t be certain with the little buzzing thing in his ears.

The talk about bettering his lifestyle was one thing, the mentioning of fortune and riches was another, but the government scheme was just a tad too uncomfortable. You can only take so many hints before you start to piece together the puzzle.

_You want…. To destroy me._

Viktor freezes, thumbs pausing in their searching for means of travel to a little seaside town called Hasetsu. He almost doesn’t want to breathe, fearfully lowering his phone as the voice in his head grows louder, stronger; more _dangerous_.

_I wouldn’t do that._ The SQUIP likes to warn, _it wouldn’t be easy… I’m splendid company you know. If you chose to upgrade, I’d even be able to enhance physical attributes and performance!_

Viktor closes his eyes and shakes his head, mortified at the thought of another controlling his body. He doesn’t want that. He regrets everything within the last few hours of this SQUIP.

And then his brain screams and Viktor Nikiforov faints, thankfully on his couch.

His phone remains open but inactive, with a nice picture of Hasetsu on the screen. There’s a seaside inn, the last Onsen in that area, or so the website declares, and it has the most perfect view of the ocean. Had Viktor had the chance to pay it more attention, he’d have found that the bay reminds him of St Petersburg a lot.

Hasetsu was rather far from where he was though. All the way in Japan. It came as a little bit of a surprise admittedly, considering Japan was a relatively calm and peaceful country by all accounts, or so the stereotype went. With its beautiful cherry blossoms and settings, even their greatest cities looked like beautiful paradise.

Unfortunately, all beauties have their ugly truths.

“Yuuri, I’ve been hearing things that I think you may wanna know.” Phichit says slowly, eyes downcast and averted to the side. The Japanese man beside him frowns, lip bitten between teeth as he pauses his laundry to stare at his friend.

Why Phichit would suddenly visit Yuuri of all people, right at his family home when he _knows_ the Thai man was planning to attend a party in _Switzerland_ is beyond him. “Okay…” Yuuri nods, “I’ll bite. What’s been going on?”

Phichit shifts his weight from one foot to another; it’s his tell that something is seriously wrong. “I was placing bids on the Senior’s Men Division for the Figure Skating Grand Prix… and one of the regular bidders came up and practically bid his _life savings_.”

Yuuri frowns. Aside from having a serious gambling addiction, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with what Phichit is saying, so he questions his friend with another silent look. “What? How? They can’t be… the University told me they were still fixing the—“

“Well the University lied.” Phichit cuts in, “Those aren’t even the real deal; they’re a copy. I asked him how the SQUIP works and Yuuri, this thing isn’t even aiding his gambling addiction; it’s helping him reach his monetary dreams.”

Yuuri freezes, fingers thumbing at the small plastic pellets. “What’s the probability that the University just happened to have been robbed and my… creation, was recreated into a mass produced cyber-drug?” His voice is high pitched, matching his shallowed breathing. He’s anxious.

Phichit doesn’t answer him directly. “I don’t know where they’re from.” He admits, “Maybe that’s something you can look into… maybe expose and shut down.”

“Are they hurting anyone? I can’t believe something I made is progressively encouraging the destruction of innocent lives…” Yuuri worries, hesitantly putting them down. His best friend gives him a sad smile, a hand placed on his shoulder. “P-Phichit?!”

“Yuuri…” There’s no happy side to this situation. The usually bright and bubbly man is stoic, serious. “He told me that he’d been using the SQUIP for about nine months… He passed away last week.”

This was his fault. His doing. Innocent lives were at stake.

All because of Katsuki Yuuri.

“B-but… we don’t know it was because of the SQUIP…” The look that Phichit gives him is enough to squash any doubts about what had transpired. Yuuri’s eyes widen, allowing for a gush of tears to fall. “Oh my god…” He whispers, a hand clamped over his mouth. “What have I done?!”

**~Legends Have It…~**

_I_ _s this really what you want?_

Viktor sighs for the umpteenth time, trying his best to not seem inconspicuous. The private jet he’d hired out is best known – or more so not known – for their secrecy and discrepancy with… important matters. Matters he _knows_ are potentially linked to the Bratva, or so his SQUIP claims. Personally he’s never used such means to travel before, but this time it’s a must.

_Viktor, why do you want to get rid of me? I’m helpful! I’m a useful tool! Think of the endless possibilities! Is there a girl you fancy? Or a goal you have?_

“Uh, I’m gay.” He blurts out, covering his mouth in surprise. He mentally scolds himself for answering a _voice inside his head_ aloud. So much for keeping a low profile.

“What was that Sir?” The sole attendant on-board asks, head turning quizzically in his direction. She approaches him with a soft, small smile.

“I was wondering if you’d have any champagne.” He says smoothly, palms rubbing together as his heart races. If there was anything blatantly off about his behaviour, the woman said nothing, and continued to the back of the plane in order to fulfil his request.

_Is that so? Gay? In Russia? I see your conundrum._ The SQUIP tempts him. _If I may, I can assist you with—_

“Thank, you that will be all.” Viktor announces, perhaps louder than necessary but it works; silencing the computerised pill.

“Of course Sir.” The flight attendant grins, “We’ll be landing in Hasetsu soon, so I suggest you prepare for landing.”

“Will do.” The SQUIP remains silent for the remainder of the flight.

It isn’t until he’s most definitely lost amongst the small seaside town, that Viktor hears his annoying companion once more. _How’d you manage to afford a private ride like that eh?_ It chides, as if it were merely making conversation. Viktor audibly sighs, ignoring it and pausing in his place to look out to the sea, hoping to find some resemblance of civilisation.

Due to the very illegal entrance into Japanese borders, their plane had landed about 5 kilometres from the nearest inn, or so the pilot had explained. It was up to Viktor to apparently “assimilate into a town of about 500 people”.

“You’re so smart.” Viktor says aloud, too tired to care about seeming strange. There was nothing but an elephant path left for him at this point, leading to _somewhere_ he’d yet to reach. “Tell me, how do I find your creator?”

The SQUIP lets out a chuckle, sending chills down Viktor’s spine. Whether it’s a response from the pill in his brain or not, he doesn’t know. _You’ll find them._ It prompts, _I just think you should reconsider your decision~_

Viktor huffs, rolling his eyes at the expected, useless response. “No thanks.” He mutters, picking up his pace.

Civilisation was estimated to be around 5 kilometres away from the drop off zone. Viktor knows this and yet wonders if it’d really been 500. Due to not knowing how long he’d be staying for, he’d not considered a way back at this point in time, but in any case, he really hoped he wouldn’t have to travel back the way he’d come.

“I think I see a… board walk?” He guesses, quickening his steps. He falls into a slight jog in order to reach a clearer view, eyes widening at the sight before him. Hasetsu was beautiful, bordering the seaside and surrounding coastal areas; almost all the houses had been grouped into five or so clumps, each dispersed evenly throughout the land. Viktor eyes a large, ninja house-looking building, right besides another that sits on top of a series of stairs. He can’t read the script that is printed, it’s too far away and not in a language he can read, but he thinks he can see a picture of ice skates.

He’d made it.

_Still, you don’t know how you’re going to find this creator without arousing suspicion—_

“Are you lost?” The voice is in English, clearly assuming that Viktor was not of the native tongue, which was assumed rightfully so; amongst the other Japanese citizens, he stuck out like a sore thumb.

“A little, yeah.” Viktor rubs the back of his neck, fingers clinging tight to his bag. The stranger looks him up and down, clearly judging his clothes and appearance.

“Who are you looking for?”

He blinks, unsure how to respond. “U-um… I’m not… what?”

“That’d be lying, Mr…”

“Viktor. Viktor Nikiforov.” Viktor says.

“Mr Nikiforov.” The stranger nods, contemplatively humming, “Hasetsu is secluded, the only way in and out is the train station and none of the trains have arrived yet.”

Shit.

“You’ve entered through illegal means.” The stranger continues, nodding to the direction in which Viktor had come from. They peer at him closely, studying. “You clearly are in search of someone… and I have three guesses as to who it is.”

_He’s smart_. The SQUIP notes, words tinged in amusement. Viktor grits his teeth, trying his best to force a smile. “Is that so…”

“You can call me Katsuki.” Katsuki states, before throwing a sceptical look. “One, you’re in search for the Yakuza, in which case you’ve found her, congrats.”

_Well isn’t this interesting_. _You sure you don’t regret your decision?_ Viktor silently pleads the computer to shut up.

“Two,” Katsuki continues, folding her arms, “You’re an asylum seeker, seeking refuge, in which case I’ll put you forward to someone who deals with documentation. If you’re innocent, you’re free to go, that is of course, based on my own terms and conditions.”

“That’s not it Katsuki.” Viktor tries, coolly keeping his posture. The longer he stands beneath the patronising gaze, the more he feels antsy and in need of moving. He doesn’t need Yakuza, or fake documents, he’s pretty sure he shouldn’t even _be_ messing with that stuff. All he needs is to find—

“Three.” Katsuki finishes, and she only looks more certain as the seconds pass by. “You have a SQUIP and are in need of my brother.”

Viktor blinks, for whatever reason deciding to trust this strange woman by nodding minutely.

_Well then_ the SQUIP snorts, _that wasn’t so hard after all_.

It turns out, the SQUIP _can_ be wrong.

It’s hard. A lot harder than Viktor had thought it’d be. Katsuki – Mari, he’d later learnt, had been gracious enough to practically humour him, watching with an all knowing eye as her younger brother, _Katsuki Yuuri_ , had proven difficult to communicate with.

“If you can manage to ask him what you need to ask him, then I give you props.” Mari snorts, turning away, “He doesn’t answer to strangers and their SQUIPs, it’s a bit of a sore topic really.”

“You knew this would happen.” Viktor glares, arms crossed petulantly.

_Of course she did._

“Of course I did.” Mari calls. But after that, she’s gone.

Which leaves Viktor at Yuuri’s bedroom door.

“Please Yuuri!” Viktor begs, knees beneath him and practically fallen into a position of _dogeza_. But Yuuri can’t see that, and so the only answer he receives is silence. “It’s driving me mad!” The Russian continues, sitting up to knock on his door. “You’re the only one who can help me… It was supposed to help hide me from the government back home… Them and their stupid “behaviour monitoring”… Yuuri you’re my last hope!”

_You’re being very pathetic._ His SQUIP provides, poking at the bruises on Viktor’s ego, _spilling your tragic life tale to a complete strange. If you’d listen to me, we could be off achieving greatness! Potential! Conquering the world—_

“Ugh, _please_ shut up!” Viktor groans, a hand smacking himself upside the head. He doesn’t resume his pestering, instead choosing to lean against the bedroom door with a sigh. The owners of the inn stare at him from the main room, pity filling their eyes but not saying a word. They seem to know not to interfere with this sort of business and continue to hobble away albeit reluctantly. “Go away stupid thing… I don’t want any of this! I’ll go mad listening to you!”

_If you listened to me you’d find that you’d actually be very successful._

The comforting weight of the door behind him suddenly gives way with no warning but a lock’s click, sending him backwards and onto a pair of feet. Yuuri’s feet. He bolts up right, resuming the traditional _dogeza_ position as he fumbles for an apology in English. Meanwhile, Yuuri stares at him from above.

“You’re annoying. He states, side stepping the man with no remorse, “You’re a stranger, and you freak me the hell out… I don’t even know you’re name.” There’s a tone of anxiousness mixed with the coldness, it both squishes all hopes Viktor has left as well as fuels it.

He’s suddenly very conflicted about how to feel.

“I’m Viktor Nikiforov.” He says, swallowing thickly. “I’m from Russia.”

“Hmm…” Yuuri hums, in a fashion identical to his sister. He sighs at the image of the begging man with a wave of his hand. “Okay, cool, see you later Binktop.”

Viktor stares, mouth agape as the Japanese man begins to walk away.

“WAIT!” Viktor yells, scrambling after him. He catches the man’s wrist and freezes as the other stares at him wide eyed. “I-I’m sorry.” He hurries, releasing his grip. “It’s just… It was so hard to get here… to find you… and if I don’t get this… this SQUIP fixed… or removed, then… then _I’m_ going to be in serious danger with Russia.”

Yuuri blinks, unmoving and unaffected. Viktor’s heart sinks in desperation. “Please.” He mumbles, “Just… tell me _something_ Yuuri.”

“Fine.” The other groans, folding his arms tightly against his body. He watches as tears of what he supposes are happiness spring from the foreigner’s eyes. “Listen up because I’m not telling you anything else. The reason I don’t talk with anyone but the other locals is because of what happens when we _do_.”

It’s ominous and puzzling, grabbing Viktor’s attention immediately. Perhaps it’s not the information he needs right now, but surely – _surely_ it’s a step towards gaining Yuuri’s trust.

_Viktor, let’s go. He’s wasting our time_ the SQUIP cuts in, ever so helpful as always. _I’ll prove how useful I can be and you’ll be so surprised, you’ll recommend everyone to have their own SQUIP!_ The voice rings with a shrilling echo, presenting a headache so faint he’s not sure if it’s real or not. Viktor shakes his head, attempting to clear it and listen to what Yuuri is saying.

“A while ago there was a boy who came to this town with… blue eyes and silver hair. And he had an injury he needed help with.” Yuuri begins, rolling his eyes. It’s as if this story is of no interest to him but the Russian clings on to every word regardless. “Someone in the town thought it’d be smart to take him in and help. But they were _wrong_.”

Viktor flinches as the other spits, words angrily expelling from his lips as he goes. “He was _rude,_ and _pushy,_ and a _guest,_ and I told him to _leave me alone_ but he wouldn’t and he’s _still_ standing here despite my request in my _own home_ , thinking I’ll be able to _help him_ when I fucked up in the first place and have to live with the regrettable fact that I’ve hurt _millions_ of other people with those _stupid_ _things_!”

_Well, that was quite the mouthful._

For once Viktor agrees.

“So _excuse me_ Binktop.” Yuuri says, suddenly almost as sweetly as an angel. He turns around, a hand lazily waving as he goes; “I’m going to eat Katsudon now, goodbye!”

**~Let’s Play Together~**

Viktor hopes that getting along with Yuuri would become easier over time, that perhaps all that were amiss was the fact that Yuuri himself wasn’t used to people. To be fair, the Japanese man had even stated this fact himself during their very short chat when he’d first arrived.

Viktor soon finds himself in an uncharacteristic position of giving up.

_I told you_ the SQUIP murmurs, _we should just head back to Russia while we can still sneak back in_. The words are the same words that Viktor has heard for the past two weeks, almost making him go dizzy with insanity at the internal loop. He hates this, he wishes he’d never listened to Yakov; he wants the SQUIP _gone._

The SQUIP won’t go.

“I feel bad for you.” Katsuki Mari says one day. It’s his 17th day in Japan and the third day of his potentially last week. If Yuuri seriously won’t open up then there’s almost no point in continuing this route, he figures, there’ll surely be other methods out there. But the creator’s sister continues to chat, as if it weren’t obvious for Viktor’s struggles. “I can’t, nor would I ever, force Yuuri to help you.” She says slowly, a cigarette between her lips. She takes in a drag of smoke before carelessly expelling it right into Viktor’s face. “But if you’re so desperate to get rid of that thing, I know a guy; one of Japan’s top surgeons.”

She walks away, leaving Viktor to choke on the smoke she leaves behind, eyes wide in consideration. He had considered surgery before and was well aware of the risks, but now that the opportunity had presented himself, he wasn’t so sure. “Wait!” He decides to call, mindful for the other inn residents. Mari pauses, quirking her eyebrow as she turns.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you helping me?” He breathes, blue eyes scanning her face, “You said you’re… that you’re one of the higher ups… why do you care about how I turn out?”

“Because Yuuri is an idiot.” Mari shrugs, as if that were all that there was to tell, “This is business separate to my own, and honestly, probably more beneficial to my brother’s mental state than anything.” With that, she nods, flicking the cigarette butt before resuming her exit, leaving Viktor to stand alone.

_Surgery hmm?_ The SQUIP’s voice echoes now, a newest addition to its near constant presence. Viktor had tried to accept the menace of a voice within his head originally but found that it only made it easier for the small computer to boost itself and its capabilities. Viktor grits his teeth and pushes off the wall, stomping angrily down the stairs.

“Good afternoon Yuuri.”

“Goodbye Binktop.”

The same exchange as always.

Viktor sighs, reaching the next floor’s landing as he chances a glance at the innkeepers’ youngest child. Yuuri doesn’t appear to be anything special, as for how he’d ended up creating the SQUIPs, it’s almost an uncharacteristic attribute. He’s 24, or so Viktor thought he’d overheard, but this fact doesn’t quite fit into the puzzle that makes up Katsuki Yuuri.

_Let’s GooOooOOoOoo!_

Viktor yelps, clamping a hand to his ears and prays he hadn’t been seen squabbling like a goose. The ringing in his head is a little more piercing than it’d originally been, but he can’t find it in himself to pay it much attention at the moment. His eyes widen as he stares up at the second floor, meeting gaze with a startled Yuuri.

“That’s… not normal.” Yuuri mumbles, somewhat surprised himself for having initiated a conversation. A static white noise bleeps through Viktor’s mind, reverberating against the inside of his skull as he gasps in minute shock. It’s suddenly much louder and much stronger than he’d last recalled. “So that’s what happens…”

“Suddenly take an interest have you?” Viktor turns his aching head, staring petulantly at the wall. He can hear footsteps slowly descending from his right.

_Oh, so now Yuuri is paying attention?_

He honestly can’t tell if it’s his thought or the SQUIP’s.

“I’ve never seen it.” Yuuri shrugs, as if he’s stumbled upon some strange, scientific discovery, “I mean, I never saw the… the jailbroken SQUIP’s results in use.”

Viktor sighs, folding his arms across his chest as he decides to stare at his feet. “But you won’t help me.” He concludes, nodding. “I get it… actually I don’t… but, sure. I’ll… try get out of here soon or something.” There’s an odd squeak that perks up from the back of Yuuri’s throat.

“You assume a lot of things.” He begins, fingernails tapping on his teeth, “When you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me.”

“So… you’ll help me then.” Viktor states more than asks, heart just about ready to explode with hope. If this sudden change in Yuuri, for whatever reason, was enough for him to agree to helping him, then that would mean that—

“No.”

Viktor tries not to cry.

“You assume, again.” This time, Yuuri turns away, moving to climb back up the stairs, “But, I’ll give you the rest of this week. By Sunday, you have to have one, convinced me that I should help you; two, befriend me; and three… hmm, prove that I should trust you with my life. If you do that… then I’ll _consider_ helping.”

Viktor nods with every condition set out before him. It’s not hard, or so he thinks. He’ll successfully convince Yuuri and complete his requirements by Sunday.

That was 4 days away.

“It’s a deal.” Viktor calls back, shooting him a determined look. Yuuri merely nods as the SQUIP suddenly emits a pained squealing sound, mimicking a microphone’s feedback. Viktor reels, gasping and gritting his teeth as he smacks himself upside the head again as his eyes flicker with multi-coloured technicolour. It takes a while for the odd splotches to disappear from his vision and for his head to regain control, but by the time they do, Yuuri is gone.

_This won’t be easy_. The SQUIP promises. It’s a dark and foreboding promise that only seems to get underneath Viktor’s skin. _I promise you now, it won’t be._

It was.

It’s surprisingly easy. Much easier than the SQUIP had foretold, and Viktor can’t quite work out when the other shoe will drop. It doesn’t matter, he’s here now, he’s talking to Yuuri, he’s found just about every little secret this man has and more.

Of course, he couldn’t have done it without the aid of a little alcohol. Alcohol which, to Viktor’s surprise; disrupts the SQUIP’s processors. A blessed time to be wasted indeed.

It was also a time to witness Yuuri completely strip down to his underwear and dance about with as much grace as a newborn deer. Viktor loved it. Viktor still loves it. So much so that he _really_ wants to “tap that” despite having only known the guy for three weeks; most of which they hadn’t uttered a single word.

Until now.

Drunk Viktor had probably learnt more in 4 hours than sober Viktor had in his entire time at the Onsen, which yes, definitely included a drunk escapade into the younger’s bedroom.

Viktor definitely _did_ tap that, thank you very much. He also did a lot more than tapping.

The hungover was terrible. The puking was disgusting. Their bodies felt like they’d each swam in a pool full of spit and sugar. Neither could remember where they’d discarded their clothes. No one knew how they’d gotten so drunk.

But they didn’t seem to regret it, so Viktor took that as a very, very, good thing.

“I made the SQUIP as a part of a university project.” Yuuri says softly, feet digging into the sand absentmindedly. Their impromptu beach trip had been Viktor’s idea, a way to go outside and get some fresh air. He’s not sure what their relationship status is, but he doesn’t think he’d be opposed to something more if it was an option.

Unfortunately, Yuuri isn’t really thinking about that sort of thing right now. Currently, he’s on a path of his own. “The original purpose was to assist those in need… Um… in Russia you’d call them the neuro-diverse… in the Western World, they’re merely unwell…” Yuuri rings his hands together before sighing, going quiet for a moment to consider his choice of words.

“They monitor us.” Viktor nods, arms folding over his knees. The beach is awfully deserted for the time of day but he doesn’t complain. It’s almost as if this peacefulness is responsible for the quietness in his head. “Our mentality has to be perfect… you’re not a good person if you’re… medically dependent.”

“The SQUIP was meant to help people like me.”

Viktor blanches, blinking stupidly as he stares. “I didn’t know…” He mutters, frowning, “Russia’s views are very different from… most of the world.”

“The SQUIP was supposed to assist with basic tasks of daily living. Sometimes… people need a reminder to eat breakfast… or to go to sleep… or to have a friend to listen and provide advice when it’s 2 in the morning and no one else can…” He shifts uncomfortably, hands now clawing at the grains of sand beside him. “The university loved the idea. They praised the creation, were amazed… but then it fell into the hands of a faculty that was… _bad_. They changed up some of the rules, how it worked. By then I’d sold all rights to it and within months it’d become an underground drug. Something you used like a cheat code in life.”

Viktor doesn’t speak as he listens, staring intently at Yuuri’s face. There’s a stream of silent tears flowing from his eyes, dripping onto his shirt as he bites back a sob. “I hurt so many people and I hadn’t known for months. It’s _still_ happening.” He faces Viktor, eyes squinting as he blinks and rubs away at his tear tracks. “I found out from a friend who occasionally dabbles in illegal gambling… and when I’d traced it back to the University…”

“You’d found out.” Viktor finishes, biting his lip. “That’s not your fault.”

Yuuri doesn’t respond, instead choosing to shift to a more direct topic, one that he’d know Viktor had been wanting to know since his arrival. Perhaps if he’d not prolonged this, then they would be at least a little bit closer to finding a solution. “There used to be a way to shut it off. You’d drink Mountain Dew Red.” He explains, a little disassociated, “But they changed the SQUIP a lot… so much so, that when I managed to get my hands on one of the… jailbroken pills to see if there even _was_ a way to turn it off… I couldn’t tell if drinking Mountain Dew Red would shut _it_ off or… shut the… the person… off—” He breaks he sentence, unmoving.

“There isn’t any cure for the SQUIP.” Viktor freezes, the wind picks up.

_Well would you look at that_. He distantly hears.

The SQUIP was back.

“I… I see.” He tries to say, words slurring together as he shakes his head.

“V-Viktor?” Yuuri asks tentatively, “Viktor… I know… I’m sorry… I really am…” The SQUIP is back and with it comes the loudest, most piercing octaves Viktor has ever heard.

“No… no it’s fine.” He swallows, tears welling up as he shudders.

_I told you._ He hears. _I told you it wouldn’t be easy._

Ah. So _this_ is the other shoe.

“Viktor…. It’s not.” Yuuri shakes his head decisively, “I’ll… I’m going to help you. We’ll find Mountain Dew Red… and then we’ll see if we can use it to help you… I can’t promise it’ll be easy, but if I can pull my head out of my ass and help you, then maybe I can help others.”

Viktor drowns the SQUIP out with sheer mental force, sluggishly smiling at Yuuri in gratitude. The dull pounding in his head is back but he thinks, for just this moment, that he can overlook it in order to appreciate the determination written across Yuuri’s face. “That sounds great.” He murmurs, nodding.

Yuuri bites his lip. “I have a rough idea of where we can go… but we have to be careful. Police have detectors for drugs including SQUIPS and since you’re in the country off record…” he trails off, scratching at his cheek nervously.

“Maybe it’s better if I go alone—“

“It’ll be fine Yuuri.” Viktor offers him a reassuring squeeze, hands linking together, “You’re helping me so I should go with you.” Yuuri frowns, attempting to protest when Viktor hushes him. “It’ll be fine. I’m just grateful you’re willing to help.”

There’s a beautiful, heart-shaped smile that forms on his lovely face for the first time in a long while, and Yuuri finds he can’t look away.

**~To Kiss it Better~**

There is a soft breeze that captures the platinum blonde’s hair, sweeping it clumsily across his face as they duck behind the store’s alley. Aside from their sharp breaths, they can’t hear anything else, adrenaline pumping through their veins as they rest. “Do you have it?” Yuuri whispers, head peeking out from their hiding place, “Viktor, did you hear what I—” He’s cut off by the quickest brush of lips against lips, startling him from composure. His eyes are blown wide, staring at the Russian beside him. “Viktor…”

“I… I have it.” The other turns around to pull his bag off of his shoulders, inside there’s a jostling of a plastic bottle they’d just stolen. “I’ve got the Mountain Dew Red.”

Yuuri swallows thickly, nodding in response before placing a hand on top of the bag in confirmation. The familiar shape of a plastic cap rests beneath his palm. “Good. That’s good. We can go find a safer place to hide and… and get rid of this monstrosity inside your head.”

_Am I really that terrible?_ Viktor grits his teeth as the SQUIP whispers directly into his mind, twisting thoughts and nerves around like toys. It’s a dull headache now, something throbbing but not so bad. He could almost pretend he’d been sitting at his laptop for an hour too long.

But Yuuri notices the subtle clenching of his jaw and cups a hand beneath to rub circles into the tense joint with a thumb. His eyebrows furrow with concern before he ignores his previous attempts at scoping out the scene in exchange for placing his undivided attention onto his boyfriend. There are unsaid words between them, things that the spontaneous kiss had barely begun to tell, but now was not the time for those worries and fears.

“Are you going to be okay?”

_You should tell him you’re fine.”_ Supplies the SQUIP, ever so helpfully, _Tell Yuuri you don’t need him, we need to break up with him, get away from the Mountain Dew Red –_

“NO!” Viktor yells. His hands slap the sides of his head where his ears rest, as if able to dispel the shrilling thoughts manually. But they echo internally regardless and cause a cacophony of agony in waves. He feels his palms slicken with sweat, glistening as he shudders deeply.

_We were such a great pair without him! We don’t need him! He’s getting in the way of greatness! Think of all the potential, it’s right here in your head! Come on Viktor, live a little—_

Viktor’s knees buckle as he yells louder in anguish, the voice so dizzying he feels faint. “Viktor!” he thinks he hears distantly, Yuuri hushing him like a small child. The Japanese man’s own body instinctively leans over to wrap his boyfriend in a protective bundle of limbs, as if hoping that the comfort would help ease the pain. But it doesn’t, and only seems to make matters worse with Viktor’s screams growing audible, perfectly so for anyone to hear and discover their presence.

And they can’t have that. Not when they’re so close. “Shh Viktor, shhh. It’s okay, it’s okay! Please be okay!” he begs, one hand reaching up to stroke the thin silver strands of hair gently as his other moves to brush stray tears away. He presses gentle kisses to the lids of his eyes, to his nose, to his mouth, to everywhere he can reach in hopes that a kiss could make everything better.

“Viktor, come back to me. Pull through this. Please!”

Then the screaming and writhing stops, and like that, Yuuri’s sure Viktor’s dead. His limbs grow limp and his weight increases tenfold, throwing the younger man into a state of disbelief. “Oh my god.” Yuuri whispers, frozen in shock as he stares at the unconscious Russian. “Oh my god, _Viktor!_ ”

A frantic hand flies to his boyfriend’s neck in search of a pulse, for a beat or a sign that he was alive. Fingers dig into pale flesh firmly, not once risking a chance at missing such a precious thrum of his heart and Yuuri holds his breath as he shifts his fingers around. _One, two, three…_

_There!_

A gush of air escapes his mouth as Yuuri feels his stomach drop in relief. He’s okay, Viktor’s alive, and the proof is there in the thrumming staccato beneath his skin. Yuuri silently thanks whatever deities responsible before shifting the taller man into a more comfortable position. For someone so tall, he surprisingly didn’t weigh much at all.

There’s a lapse of silence for what Yuuri could only guess as hours, as he watched the slithers of sunlight in the cracks of the alleyway wall disappear until Viktor finally came to. Greeting him with tears and more kisses than surely their time allowed, Viktor grunts and rubs his head, disorientated and dizzy but quieter than before.

“There was just… too much.” He tries to explain as he shifts into an upright position. He feels Yuuri’s hand steady him from behind, helping him get comfortable on the dirt ground. “I can still hear it… the SQUIP I mean… but it’s not too bad… not like before.” Yuuri gently pulls him into his side.

“I was scared.” He admits, a hand absentmindedly reaching out to intertwine with Viktor’s, “Scared you’d died… t-that you were _gone,_ just like that, in my arms. You’re not allowed to just leave me like that, okay?!” Viktor sighs, warm breath tickling his ears, but Yuuri’s sure he hears a hum of agreement in there.

“We need to get going. I’m sure my… nap halted our progress out of here.” Viktor grumbles, squeezing Yuuri’s hand. “We need to leave and then see if this Mountain Dew Red can actually help us.” Yuuri nods in agreement and straightens his clothes, helping Viktor to stand up when they hear _it_.

A car drives past, the wheels crunching onto the deserted road’s cement so softly, you could miss it if you weren’t careful, so it’s assumed they’re lucky they both catch it and fall silent in time. With a shared worried look, Yuuri peeks out from their hiding place in the alleyway, enough to see but not be seen, as he spies on the vehicle pulling into park.

“Go.” Yuuri whispers, not even a second more after taking a peek, turning around to hurriedly shuffle Viktor away. His head is reeling in some sort of disbelief. “Go, go, go! It’s the cops! Viktor move!” There’s not a moment’s hesitation as Viktor’s eyes widen in realisation, hurrying to scramble to his feet in time. They both make it around the corner of the back of the building before hearing distant murmurs grow louder, confirming that they’d been spotted somehow.

“How?!” Viktor hisses, a hand carding through his hair. “How did they...?”

“Doesn’t matter… They’ll call us in, they have detectors!” Yuuri worries, turning to stare at Viktor. “We’re trapped here and they’re gonna find us… what do we do!?”

“I… I don’t know!”

In the back of his mind, hidden beneath the layers of shrilling noise from the SQUIP, Viktor notes that the whole world doesn’t seem to slow down as they do so in books or movies; that everything seemingly remains the same regardless of what life changing events may occur. And at the same time, Yuuri seems to realise this too; intertwining both of their hands in a sort of prayer.

For what, Viktor doesn’t know.

“Whatever happens,” He thinks he hears, the faintest of a whisper from his right. But he can’t quite focus on the rest of what’s said because his brain fizzles and jitters like a machine out of oil, a reminder of the SQUIP that is there.

That’s it. 

_There’s still time Viktor. There’s still time to fix things, for me to help you—_

“I’ll have to drink the Mountain Dew.” Viktor says.

_What?!_

“You’ll _what_?” Yuuri blinks. He can’t believe his own ears.

“I’ll have to do it.” Viktor reiterates, staring directly into the other’s eyes, “It’s the only way I’ll have a chance at avoiding the SQUIP Detector.”

_Not true. That’s not true. That’s false information!_

There’s a flurry of movement as the grip on Yuuri’s arm tightens in reassurance, and beside him in the corner of his peripherals he can see Viktor making a move for the bottle. “V-Viktor, we don’t even know if— if it’ll work.” Yuuri stutters, face aching from the frown that’d been resting there. He eyes the Mountain Dew Red, bottom lip bitten and bleeding and chewed through with worry.

He doesn’t even know if they’re dating.

He wants them to be.

“Well,” Viktor grits out, shaking his pained head viciously. The mouthful of liquid stirs as he eyes it forlornly. “We’re about to find out.”

His fingers fiddle with the cap as Yuuri watches intently, disbelief written so precariously across his face. He goes to protest but is cut off by a chaste kiss pressed to his lips, stealing any remaining words from his breath in one go.

“Then there’s a kiss,” Viktor says quietly, as if in answer to a question; he raises the bottle to his lips with a bittersweet smile. “A kiss to make everything better.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, TBH I don't know how to feel about this.... I.... am proud of how long it took to write such a thing.... though I don't think it's as fluid as I'd have liked - apologies, I've been having a really bad mental thing the past few dasy so the quality isn't my best.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it though!


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